Sometime in life, I learned to depend on others’ approval. How could I possibly know if I was doing a good job if no one told me I was? I chased big wins, trying to get attention for my work, and often felt deflated by the response I got.

But the feedback I receive from a manager may not reflect my performance. Some managers are uncomfortable with praise, both receiving and giving. Some are just too busy. In any case, their actions toward me may not have anything to do with me. So do I really want to make myself dependent on something I can’t control?

Today I choose to catch myself when I’m anticipating approval. I choose to slow down and pay attention to my work, then write down my wins at the end of the day.

It’s okay to want positive feedback. But if it’s unavailable, I can be content without it, one day at a time.