When I started working the Steps, someone told me I could start Step Eleven–“sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God”–at any time. I didn’t have to wait to work the other Steps.

I found this to be partly true … but what I wish I could tell myself then is that it’s important to manage my expectations. For one thing, prayer and meditation can be complicated by the guilt and trauma we get a chance to untangle in the first ten Steps. For another thing, meditation is like anything else: it takes practice.

Today, I will remember that I am a beginner–and no matter how long I’ve been in recovery, I’m always a beginner–but I can at least try. If possible, I’ll put a visual reminder in front of me at work to prompt me to pray, and I’ll look at the tasks in front of me as an opportunity to be present, with myself and with a Higher Power.

I won’t put pressure on the outcome. But I will take a small step toward better conscious contact with a power greater than myself.