The Al-Anon closing offers this practice for preserving the serenity of a meeting: “Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another.” Gossip and heated personal criticism take a toll on a workplace too. When I engage in these two behaviors, I undermine others’ trust in their coworkers, and I undermine their trust in me. I don’t appear mature and competent when I’m roasting another team member.

But the closing also reminds me that there’s a time and place for “reasoning things out with someone else.” If I have a conflict with someone, I don’t need to stuff the feelings and keep the situation a secret. It may be true that someone in the program, someone outside my workplace, is the best person to help me see my options clearly. But I don’t have to hide.

Today I will strive to avoid harming someone else through gossip, and avoid putting myself in the role of silently brooding on a problem.