How often, as I show someone my work, do I try to pre-empt any criticism? “I still need to . . .” “I was already planning on changing . . . ” Sometimes it’s even a flat-out “Look how terrible this turned out!”

I angle for compliments in other ways, carefully pointing out my work to someone else hoping he or she will offer the positive feedback I am so subtly (or not) hoping for.

To practice the rigorous honesty demanded by a program of recovery, it’s best for me to call this behavior what it is: manipulation.

Today, if I feel tempted to criticize my own work so someone else won’t, I will let that feeling pass. If I feel the urge to prompt positive feedback, I will remember an often-shared recovery principle: sometimes when I’m hoping someone will appreciate something about me, I really need to appreciate it about myself.