When someone around me gets upset, I can go into fight or flight. I might also freeze, unable to take action, or fawn, becoming intent on coddling the other person into calming down. Whatever my response, I usually treat other people’s feelings as something that requires a correction from me.

It took me a long time to understand that other people’s emotions are outside my hula hoop. I might acknowledge them, I might validate them, but I can’t change them.

Today, if someone I work with is upset, I’ll pause before reacting and remember that I can choose my response. If they’re angry at me, have I done everything I can reasonably do? Is it possible their disappointment is their own? I’ll avoid gossiping about it, trying to get others on my side. But I won’t be too quick to assume that I need to make an angry person feel better.