Early in recovery, many of us feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. We’ve finally found something that meets us where we are, and while we may not have all the answers, at least now we know what the question is.

As we look around us, it’s easy to see that almost everyone needs what we’ve found. But as seasoned old-timers will attest, there’s a reason Step Twelve is not Step One. Before we carry the message, it’s important to have a message to carry.

Today, if my co-workers start telling me about their troubles—or if their troubles are obvious—before I start telling them what I think they should do, I will ask myself: “Did they ask for my opinion?” (They usually don’t.) I will offer a listening ear and be trustworthy to keep a confidence. As I work my own program, the people around me might become more receptive to hearing about recovery by “attraction rather than promotion.”