Category: Uncategorized
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Someone wondered in a meeting if you could be a perfectionist and procrastinate at the same time. The answer was a resounding yes. Perfectionism can keep me from starting a project because I’m afraid it won’t turn out the absolute best possible. It can keep me working on something long after I should have just…
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Before recovery, many of us ran on self-will. Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that this kind of life “can hardly be a success.” But many of us were determined to try. Even if we were not drinking and were trying with wild sincerity to make our lives better, we thought the force of our will would…
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Sometimes my approach to work is hurried and even a little careless. Maybe I’m not comfortable with projects that don’t resolve easily and I want to get everything over with as soon as possible. Or maybe it’s about authority figures: I resent or fear my boss, so I rush through my work as a subtle…
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Before recovery, I didn’t exactly notice when I had slipped into trying to control another human being. I didn’t think of it as control; all of my behavior seemed perfectly reasonable to me. Other people clearly needed me to pay attention to and manage their activities. But this behavior eventually causes strain and pain. When…
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Part of my disease is a deep feeling of not having enough. Resentment and scarcity sometimes claw at me, and before long I’m discontent with everything around me. I begin to complain inwardly, endlessly, about how much money I make and how few opportunities come my way. It’s exhausting. Fortunately, I have a program to…
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How often, as I show someone my work, do I try to pre-empt any criticism? “I still need to . . .” “I was already planning on changing . . . ” Sometimes it’s even a flat-out “Look how terrible this turned out!” I angle for compliments in other ways, carefully pointing out my work…
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What is the difference between self-love and self-indulgence? Those two things often form an odd tension. I learned in the program that Easy Does It and that I cannot will myself to recover—I need help from others and a Higher Power, and I can’t force them to act. Gentleness and patience with myself are critically…
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At the beginning of recovery, anonymity can feel like a sanctuary, a shield against public shame. Or, to some of us, it feels unnecessary. Some of us never learned to value ourselves and our inner life, so we’re used to telling everyone everything. We may be tempted to announce our Twelve Step membership everywhere we…
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Why work Steps 8 and 9? When I make an Eighth Step list, I might be tempted to fantasize that everyone on it will like me by the end of Step 9. But that’s not really the purpose of these steps. I work Steps 8 and 9 to begin to live in harmony with those…
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It’s hard to separate work from the ideal scenario for my life that I keep in my head. Career success is a pretty big component of what I think it means to live well. The problem with this is that real life doesn’t always cooperate with my ideals. I might work hard, make what I…
Recovering at Work 