Category: Uncategorized
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It’s easy to run on habit at work, especially if I’ve been in the same job a while. Muscle memory kicks in, or I respond to the same problems with the same solutions–after all, I’ve been here before. But one of the gifts of recovery is the possibility of growth and change. As I recover,…
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I hold on to things so tightly–sometimes money, sometimes responsibilities. Often the thing I grip the most tightly, though, is myself. I’m afraid to give too much and be taken advantage of. I’m afraid of criticism, and I doubt the safety of my surroundings. But when I live this way, I act like there’s no…
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Am I stuck today? Am I feeling bound by a defect of character–do I think I have to practice the hiding that I do, or that I have to nurture some (seemingly) small emotional insobriety? Is it possible this is affecting my ability to work and be present for the people around me? Today I…
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Somewhere along the way, I absorbed some messages that no longer serve me. Maybe it was the message that I could and should be perfect, or that my life should get better and better, with no setbacks or detours. These expectations haunt the background of my experience at work, and not for the better. They…
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Judging others comes easily to me, and my employer is often an easy target of my judgment, maybe because it represents authority. When I feel victimized by a policy or practice, I often respond with grumbly thoughts. But I know today that practicing judgment takes up precious time and energy and keeps me from looking…
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The biggest challenges of work usually involve dealing with people. But many jobs–perhaps especially in an era of work-from-home–also involve a lot of alone time. Work can get lonely. When I’m practicing my disease, loneliness–like boredom–can send me scrambling for something to change the way I feel. I might take a quick hit from social…
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Am I troubled about something in my work today? If I’m not careful, I can find myself endlessly mentally chewing on problems. How many imaginary conversations with bosses and coworkers does it take to completely drain my energy and make me feel like a victim of circumstances? Is it possible that I could work through…
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When I started working the Steps, someone told me I could start Step Eleven–“sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God”–at any time. I didn’t have to wait to work the other Steps. I found this to be partly true … but what I wish I could tell myself then is…
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Dishonesty came easily to me when I was practicing my disease. I might not have called it that (because I probably didn’t call it anything). But even if I didn’t outright lie or steal, I often engaged in dishonesty by omission, or scrambled to cover up a mistake or anything else I thought might make…
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In the rooms of recovery, gratitude is big. We commonly hold meetings with gratitude as a topic, and encourage the discipline of a regular written gratitude list. It’s one of the tentpoles of our programs. And yet, gratitude can be elusive, maybe especially at the beginning. When I look around, I might see mostly my…
Recovering at Work 